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Welcome to the Mingles blog

 

Here we answer common questions we get asked, as well as posting interesting information , if you have any ideas for blog posts please let us know!

By Mingles Club, Aug 17 2018 10:11AM

The underground world of taboo, one where you cannot usually discuss matters at the school gates or over dinner with friends, it’s a world considered dark and seedy but how wrong can people be?


With over 65 (usually well attended) clubs just in the UK and websites such as Swingingheaven and Fabswingers it’s no longer as taboo as what some people seem to think.


I’m a young swinger myself starting at just 18 years old and only being 26 years now I have a lot to learn but I have worked and frequented various UK clubs over the last few years and I have met a lot of people from all different walks of life and from every background imaginable, what fascinates me is how people are so different but how they can all come together with one like minded interest SEX!


As a young single female it wasn't difficult getting onto the scene especially as I know it can be for some young single guys, I remember my first experience of a swingers club was extremely daunting yet completely liberating.


It was around 3 weeks after my 18th birthday when a couple of friends of mine (who weren't completely legit and were a little bit older than me) suggested we all go on a night out to a swingers club and I thought “well why not” and there it was already decided and before I knew it we were pulling up to a converted house and boy was it not what I was expecting, it was very clean with a lounge area and kitchen with a buffet laid out and a makeshift bar with barmen/ security and then there was playrooms with several beds in each room and porn playing on the televisions, I was outnumbered by single men at a ratio of around 4:1 but all the guys were focused on these ladies and it instantly made me feel sexy they all wanted to speak to us and get our attention and of course have their way with us which of course some of them did *Wink, Wink*, but it was all very welcoming and polite.


Now my first experience for some would put some people off for life but for me I thought it was awesome, I had never felt so attractive and wanted, of course as I explored the scene more I have learned a lot and my preferences are ever changing as is the same for most people and nowadays I prefer a more equal number of people where guys aren't pawing and leering over the ladies but you live and learn.


I have met so many people and especially new people to the scene and the one thing I always hear is its never what people expected and it isn't, most people go to clubs for the atmosphere and to meet like minded people where they don't need to keep their life a secret and can discuss subjects like the art of squirting or how to sort out the logistics of a gang bang without worrying about being judged , clubs for me like a lot of others isn't about the sex (although that's always a plus) but to be liberated and free…..


Written by RED


By Mingles Club, Aug 17 2018 10:10AM

I've been swinging on and off for 9 years and I have learned so much in that time, the constant evolution of preferences and changes in attitude, swinging has been the biggest learning curve of a journey I have had.


So what is swinging? It is defined as a lifestyle of non-monogamy where sexual relations occur outside the established couple... well I am a single female so how does that define swinging for me?... it doesn't, as a swingle the social definitions don't' tend to apply as I am not going to be exchanging partners with another couple, but like any other person if the lifestyle I too have my own preferences, likes and dislikes.


Being a swingle, for me, is very different from being in a couple and I find I am approached from every angle, from the single guys as they don't have to share me with anyone and find it less intimidating and often by couples seeking to fulfill their own fantasies of a threesome or cuck games, it gives me the freedom to play how I like and with whom I like as I am on my own so no compromise or discussion is needed like in a relationship which is great, however it has its downsides as with a lot of couples I am seen as an object to fulfill their needs and no real considerations of my own, and I also feel uncomfortable going to new clubs and parties on my own for safety reasons.

In the 9 years of swinging my preferences have changed so much, I started out as a single girl and preferred meeting for gang-bangs and orgies, I played a numbers game, it wasn't so much the quality but quantity for me, the feeling of being able to get a lot of men to play with was a massive ego boost.


Growing up I was the ugly duckling and I was often ignored and passed by because I was the awkward geeky kid with terrible skin and no shape, when all my friends had their first boyfriends I sat at home studying for my exams. Until I hit about 18 yrs old, I was never really noticed and my confidence was an all-time low, so when I grew into my looks and I found that I started getting noticed, I used sex as a confidence boost.


Then I met my ex-partner, he wasn't interested in the swinging lifestyle to begin with it took 18 months and a lot of discussions to get him to experience it, with that it meant having rules in place to keep us both comfortable, sharing your partner can be extremely scary to begin with and we found having set rules made it easier. During that time I calmed down a lot my preferences changed and we mainly played with other couples and with single girls as not to make my partner jealous and to keep within our rules.


Now 9 years on I have changed my preferences yet again, preferring quality over quantity with mostly single girls and guys but also choosing to play more one on one but overall I much prefer the social side of the lifestyle and could happily just chat all night.


The important thing I have found throughout is to only do what you are comfortable with and if you're in a relationship making sure you are both secure enough to deal with the consequences, over the years I have seen so many people not communicating with their partners about how they feel and then problems arise such as jealousy and resentment... communication is key.


Sit down and talk about things and how you would feel about certain things for example with my ex he could have sex with anyone he wanted, it never fazed me in the slightest however if he then spent the night or was texting her for days afterwards I had a real problem.


Have clear rules, trust and respect, be clear on your own preferences and compromise.

Red x

By Mingles Club, Aug 17 2018 10:06AM

So, if you take a look in your local bar or restaurant, remove any under 25’s from the scene and that’s what our members look like. They come from all kinds of backgrounds, all kinds of jobs and have all kinds of fantasies! Here's a look at some of the members at Mingles!


Sarah (34) & Bob (46) - Couple

Bob and Sarah have been together about 6 years and recently got married both for the second time, Bob has two grown up children and Sarah has 3 children who live with them. They had never had any experience of the lifestyle prior to visiting Mingles, but were curious about the lifestyle and came along very nervous.


Sarah likes to dress up very sexy in revealing outfits and Bob is always dressed smartly, he loves seeing other people admiring his wife. They never played with any other couples to start with but were always a good laugh at the bar and Sarah was often the life and sole of the dance floor. After coming to the club quite regularly for a few months Sarah started to explore her Bi-Sexual side and played with a few other ladies while Bob watched.


Their confidence grew with each visit and now they are exploring soft swapping with other couples, they also enjoy having sex together in the lockable room as with teenagers at home privacy is sometimes an issue.


Michelle (25) - Single Female

Michelle is a single female and amazed us when she walked through the door for the first time. She instantly felt at home and very confident and was walking around the club almost naked within about two hours of being there (much to the enjoyment of everyone else).


Very few have the confidence to do that, especially as a single female, but the nice part about the lifestyle there is very little judgement or jealousy of others, it is a very accepting and respectful environment and of course safe and secure, we even walk our single females back to the car park at the end of the night.


Chris (35) - Single Male

Chris is divorced and doesn’t really have time for a relationship due to long hours spent working away a lot, but when he is home he regularly attends our club as the main part of his social life.


Chris is laid back and friendly and has made many friends which often means there is a single lady or couple that ask him to join them upstairs, as well as invitations to other events and parties outside of the club.


Samantha (49) & Adrian (51) - Couple

Samantha and Adrian were childhood sweethearts meeting when they were just 17 & 15, they have been married for 27 years and have been in the lifestyle for about 8 years. It was Samantha who had only ever slept with Adrian decided that it would be fun to widen their horizons and they got into the lifestyle by visiting a club.


They are now very experienced swingers and regularly go on swinging holidays and visit clubs with their friends, they usually bring a few friends with them and are always happy for new people to join their circle to socialise and often join in the fun as well.


Please note some details have been changed to protect identities,


By Mingles Club, Aug 17 2018 10:02AM

One of the most common questions we get asked is "Do I have to do anything, do I have to get involved or can I take it at my own pace?"


All clubs will tell you the same, which ever one you decide to visit. Clubs are a great place to meet people, who are also open-minded and possibly looking for some fun with others, however what you do and who you do it with is always totally up to you! There's never any pressure to play with anyone. No club can insist that you get involved.


Our advise to everyone is always, take it at your own pace. You never have to do anything you don't want to. It's your body, your choice.


Mingles is very social in the bar area and downstairs, we then have "play areas" upstairs for you to take things further if you want to. If you don't want to do anything, you don't ever have to go upstairs. Some couples and singles love the banter, friendship and atmosphere of a club, they may never get involved or rarely.


Couples also sometimes love the idea of being watched or feel naughty just being in the environment, so they may go upstairs and be with each other but no-one else.


Clubs are there for open minded adults, how you use the club (as long as it's legal and consensual) is up to you.


It's always your body. your choice.


If you have any questions, please ask! #JustAskMingles xxx

By guest, Jun 21 2018 11:24AM

Welcome to the Mingles blog, we have merged an old blog we had into the website so it's easier for you to find!


If you have any comments or topics you would like covered, please let us know!


Mingles xxx

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